he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
