I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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