You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
