I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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