Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
