my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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