Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
