I'm passing your future prison.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize