There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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