i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
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Hippo gnu deer
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
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winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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