I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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