Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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