I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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