The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You can't motorboat a personality
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
