I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
