That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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