So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....