you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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