dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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