I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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