12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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