So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
