Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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