Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
