You don't have asthma, your pregnant
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
