Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
