I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
