Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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