"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
