yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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