Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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