Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I need moral support for this bender
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
