I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
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