Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
