We're facebook friends in real life
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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