the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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