its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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