If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
