Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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