I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
