How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
