Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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