Well douche your snatch and let's go!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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