I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
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What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
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Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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