Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
