I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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