Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
True strength comes from lack of pants
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
