Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
