I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She told me I should be a condom model.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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