I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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