I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
