this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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