worst night to have a conscience
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
How external is "for external use only"?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
