The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
