So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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