i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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