Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
