so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
im holly from the hills drunk
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
