worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
