we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
