just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I would ride that face into the sunset
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
