anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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