I am puke
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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